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TBT: How Do I Love Thee, Manual Mower?

A dozen years after we found it in the shed of the house we bought, our love for this push mower is going strong. Though I will admit that every so often we can't keep up our entire property with this thing, and we do occasionally use a gas-powered lawnmower, our trusty "Flintstones grass cutter" still gets plenty of use as a simultaneous lawn care tool and workout machine. The next lawnmower we buy will definitely be an electric one, but nothing can replace the satisfaction of getting the job done with the power of the human body.

Long ago, in the time of the Great Recession, I wrote the following sonnet as an ode to this simple joy.

How Do I Love Thee, Manual Mower?



How do I love thee, manual mower? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
Of my suburban lawn, when reeling out of sight
For the ends of Mowing with quiet Grace.
 

I love thee to the level of every day's
Most emission-free trim, by sun and moonlight.
I love thee freely, especially when my men for their turn Fight;
I love thee purely, as they turn after each Row.


I love with a passion put to use
On my organic grass, while my muscles grow.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my old gas guzzler, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, sweat, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after my HUSBAND AND ROOMMATE AND I ARE THE MOST FIT, STRONG, HOT, AND HEALTHY PEOPLE IN THIS WHOLE RIDER-MOWER-LOVIN' TOWNSHIP!


Fer realz. I love that my manual mower is clean, green, and fueled by human-power, leaving the air cleaner, our muscles stronger, and our wallets fuller than if we used a gas burner. It's also not loud and obnoxious. While mowing, we can enjoy birdsong and the scent of fresh-cut grass without the fumes.

The new manual mowers (like ours) are very lightweight and require little or no maintenance. No blade sharpening is required. Also, they are safer than gas or electric mowers.

Bonus tips:

My cyclist husband wrapped the handle in bar tape for a strong, cushioned grip.

I like to do three or four rows of lawn in five-minute cardio bursts between strength training exercises. To get a better workout, I put on cross-country cleats and run instead of walking.

Happy, happy mowing!

Comments

  1. Just a few days ago my grandma was talking about my legs (I was wearing a skirt) and remarked how much she enjoyed it when Justin came up and requested his leg smacks on his big ol' muscular legs. She thought that was just divine! She laughed and reminissed at how he was not embarassed or shy about getting smacked by her.

    XD I AM ALSO INSPIRED!

    Ya'll lookin' fine up nerf,
    doin' the chores
    and saving the earth.

    cha la
    cha la

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I miss your grandma! What a joy it was to watch her grope and sexually harass my husband. She knew what was up. She knew what was good in life. She was the best.

      Delete

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