Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from December, 2018

BE BESTIAL: A Mantra for 2019

Call it a resolution, a Phrase of the Year, a slogan, a motto, a mantra. Whatever. This is my battle cry, my howl, my declaration of love for the final year of this tempest-tossed decade. This is my medicine, to be taken by myself and offered to anyone else who could use the same antidote to our zeitgeist of vapid soullessness and cynical waste.


I want to get back to nature--my nature, human nature--not in the sense of rejecting vaccines and worshiping crystals pillaged mercilessly from the habitats of endangered beings but in the sense of honoring the depths of every layer of my own mammalian brain and body and those of the people-beasts all around me. I want to get back to trustworthy instincts, back to passion, back to the visceral pleasures of real life.

This year, I'm gonna be a savage, because brutal times call for brutal humor. Ain't no shame in this filthy game. The appreciation of sick jokes is associated with higher levels of education, intelligence, and emotional sta…

All I Want for Christmas Is the JOMO

Do you ever feel like the Christmas season is kind of like Calvin's toboggan? Every year, I leap forth with childlike glee and remember halfway down that this winter wonderland trail accelerates into mayhem every time.

You know what I like?

Unshopping.

Subzero-TV--no cable, no satellite, AND no digital subscriptions. I get enough screen time thanks to Trixie and Katya on YouTube. UNHhhh.

Zazen--Shikantaza style.

Religious creed: "none of the above."

No gym membership. I avoid a sedentary lifestyle the natural way--by walking everywhere I can and doing all my outside chores with crude manual tools.

Not filling up my electric car with gas. Going to gas stations and oil change places never.

Quitting stuff. Supporting my daughter in quitting stuff even when it breaks my heart a little bit. (Farewell for now, dream dojo.)

Opting out of everything I don't feel like doing, with the quiet grace of Bartleby the Scrivener--but not his gloom, don't worry.

Not fighting abou…

Just Desserts

That's what you get! Because that's all I've been able to creatively produce this week.


I started off this merry month with an 11-day stretch of working or volunteering at work, and then I spent my day off baking cookies for several of my daughter's teachers--at regular school and at the dojo.

My poor introverted heart.

After that one day of blessed baking, I went right back to the volunteering (just one more time this year) and the workweek and gave my husband a quick Wednesday birthday present (a nice Bluetooth speaker so we can blast Electric Six and Die Antwoord and BabyMetal in the kitchen while making breakfast).

Today, I fix my chipped nail polish and break out my shiny shoes and glittery accessories, because I have FIVE days in a row of holiday, triple adult birthday, and family events. This is good for me. This is good for me.

Until next time...

Skoal!

Gonna Treat Myself, Not Trash Myself, This Holiday Season

'Tis the season for treats! Shopping! Cookies! Christmas music! Hallmark movies! Gay apparel! Tinsel! Mulled wine! Eggnog drinks! The gleeful mockery of Starbucks cups!!!

'Tis also the season for health crises, family feuds, financial disasters, glittery litter, and whole parties of people falling off wagons.

So how to enjoy the flames of Yuletide without burning your whole life down?

America, I wish you knew how to CTFD. This great nation is a young culture, the adolescent child of Puritan parents, who isn't quite sure yet how to rebel against fundamentalist martyrdom without getting smashed and falling out of a third-floor window. (Aren't you ironically just as dead if you kill yourself with excess rather than deprivation?)

But I think I have mastered the art of enjoying the holidays--actually enjoying them, not using them as an excuse to drown my sorrows--by thinking of myself as pregnant.

I'm not. Let's get that out of the way. Nor do you have to be--or wa…