Ye Olds: Do You Know What Millennials Are?

Hear ye, hear ye, Olds! Before you write, mumble, or log onto the Book Face to share that next rant about Millennials, stop to consider whether you understand who you are shaking your fist at. Let's briefly go over what Millennials are not and what they are.

Millennials are not:

  • the kids on your lawn
  • kids these days
  • any kids whatsoever
  • everyone who annoys you
  • everyone who fills you with envy
  • everyone who is not elderly (though we're getting warmer)

Millennials are:

  • all people born from 1981 to 1996 (as settled by the Pew Research Center)
  • the largest book buying and reading demographic
  • the most educated generation
  • old enough to drink legally
  • old enough to have earned a Bachelor's degree
  • sometimes old enough to be actual Olds

Hello, this is me without a Snapchat filter on. According to this super scientific quiz by the Washington Post, I am one of the Olds because I do not have any social media apps on my phone. (Also because I'm 35 years old.) If I'm arguing with you on Facebook, I'm doing it like an adult--in front of a television-sized monitor, while I'm supposed to be writing my novel.

This is the face of a Millennial. Not because I fit into some dumb stereotype but because--and only because--I was born after the year 1980.

Please feel free to share this post everywhere you see an Old griping about the lazy Millennials in high school. Though, if a Millennial is still in high school, I suppose they might be lazy.

Comments

  1. 1. You are hilarious.
    2. I'm not a millennial! I knew it! Not because I have a problem with them. It just never fit. I'm under-educated, emotionally lazy and cynical. A true Gen-Xer.
    3. You made me snort. "If I'm arguing with you on Facebook, I'm doing it like an adult--in front of a television-sized monitor, while I'm supposed to be writing my novel."
    4. What does it mean when you're an Old but you have ALL THE APPS on your phone?

    ReplyDelete

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