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Showing posts from January, 2010

Stereotypical Male

When I opened the February issue of Glamour and flipped through a silly article called "Your Field Guide to Guys," I just about spit out my coffee on page 153.

OMG, IT'S MY EX! Oh, no, wait, it's just a generic male model dressed as a "Prepster." True, my ex was sometimes mistaken for a certain model, but he was not. In fact, he liked having his picture taken about as much as a gypsy or a Mennonite does. But I'm pretty sure he owned every article of clothing in this photo, plus the bike, or things very much like them. My ex was the type of guy I pined for in high school, when this look was fresh and new and even kind of punk rock, in a Weezer sort of way. I was so thrilled to acquire one of my very own, finally, in college. He was awfully cute, but higher maintenance than appearances suggest, and ultimately, unexpectedly, not really my type.

The man I married defies any sort of categorization. If he belongs to a "type," it will not be found on t…

Remember when kids bought CDs?

I do not remember the last time I actually purchased an album on a CD.

OK, I do. There was a recent anomaly. Let me tell you, I seriously admire an artist willing to think "outside the box" to sell a traditional product in a progressive market. If you know what my recent purchase was, DON'T SPOIL. I'm looking at you, Esperanza. Hands off the comment box. It's a surprise.I don't know when it will arrive. It's having a hell of a time getting through U.S. customs. Haha!

Anyway, IN GENERAL, I listen to music on my computer. I haven't owned a machine designed for the purpose of CD playing since college. And even then, it was sort of cute and old-school. Nowadays, all the music I listen to is in mp3 format on my hard drive or iPod.

This past week, I dug a bunch of my old CDs and Mr. G's out of storage and arranged them on our huge CD shelves that we inherited from musical ex-roomie Froseph. Back in the '90s, it seemed like we had a MILLION BAJILLION CD…

How to party all night at the club for under $10

Nightclubbing is not just for celebutantes and trust fund brats. Mr. G and I discovered this last weekend. We have this week off work (usually Mr. G rises at 4:00 a.m.), so we got to stay up really late like other young people. Whee! But taking time off work also means less cash flow. Sadly, one of our four jobs did not offer paid vacation, so we didn't have much money to blow at the club. But as it turned out, we spent less than $20 for the two of us to party at the best club in town for about four hours. I share my cheap clubbing tips with you here...

1. Don't be a lifestyle partier. My liver is completely unaccustomed to liquor. Therefore, it only takes two drinks to get me smashed. Know your limits, and reap the benefits of being a cheap date. If you can't handle your drink, sip it slow. It's a lot sexier, more comfortable, and more affordable than chugging and then puking all night.

2. It helps to know a VIP. Check out our model friend Sacajawhitey on this window ad…

Word Compost

Today, I fed a shredded draft of Chapter One to my kitchen compost worms. My garden this spring is going to be so whimsical...

How I love composting words! My writing style is to scatter a ton of words onto paper or into a Word document, like scattering seeds. Then I set them aside in darkness to germinate. After a sufficient waiting time, I open up my pre-first-draft (such as the NaNoWriMo document or piles of scribbled notes). By this time, the seeds of good ideas and images have sprouted right out of the dirt. (There's lots of dirt in a NaNoWriMo document, for sure.)

I water and feed my wordlings, one chapter or less at a time, with careful re-readings and the nutrients of other readers' feedback. I weed out the bad ideas and the good ideas that just aren't thriving in their environment. Some I might pull up and replant somewhere else, for another story.

Nothing is wasted. The "crap" I produce is always a lesson that I can toss in my compost bin of experience…

Crafty Couture: Sewing with Mrs. Waxx

Over the weekend, I had my first sewing lesson (a write-in-card Christmas gift) with Mrs. Waxx.

For anyone not familiar, Mrs. Waxx is an artist with a love of couture. She flips through Vogue and says, "I want this, I want that." Then she buys the shoes on eBay, finds the clothes on sharp discount at outlets, or just goes ahead and makes designer clothes and bags herself. Husband Mr. Waxx has made a bust molded from her body so she can tailor pieces for herself, using one of her retro sewing machines found at thrift stores.

Here is a bag Mrs. Waxx made herself, without a pattern, inspired by two designer bags, with extra features of her own invention added on. Mrs. Waxx looks for good deals on leather and hardware and uses a heavy-duty, old school sewing machine. Apparently many of the new models have trouble stitching through leather. Better to hit up the Salvation Army for a sturdy machine.

This Ohio Travel Bag company is amazing. It sells all the hardware you need to make al…

Your hair is good. Happy MLK Day!

Today, in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream of equality for people of all races, I would like to praise the 'fro in all its many textures and colors. The Afro, the Jewfro, the McFro, the half-fro.

Textured hair is not "difficult." (See Miss Moppet's rant on the Maxiglide, as seen on TV.)

Textured hair is exuberant, playful, and versatile. It can be dressed and molded into many forms ranging from smooth-glass to woolly-cloud. It can be highly maintained, strong enough to grip the longest of elaborate extensions. It can be the lowest-maintenance 'do in the world, and among the most fabulous at the same time.

Hair with a presence invites touching... which can be good or bad, I suppose, depending on the circumstances. Big hair is fascinating and exotic to those who lack it.

The rarest and coarsest 'fro of all is not of African descent, but rather the red variety. Atop some of the whitest of whiteys, a beautiful 'fro grows naturally.

Behold my buddy F…

It takes a village to heat my house.

This month, Mr. G opened our gas bill and just about soiled his pants. We owed a record-breaking $215 for hot water and heat for the month of December. Everyone at our house had been so busy with holiday crap and working extra hours that no one had had time to stoke the fire, not even The Baked Chef, our personal chef/Cinderella of the Cellar, who was out of state on business for much of the time.

Luckily, a dead elm tree two doors down came to the rescue. Our Friendly Neighbor we shall call Mr. Cardigan (not because he wears them, but because he's so darn nice he reminds me of Mr. Rogers... if Mr. Rogers were a retired salesman and 'Nam vet who spends his days hunting and league bowling) thought the dead tree was in his yard and planned to cut it down so it didn't fall on its own, which would almost guarantee the destruction of the whole street's power lines and the house down the hill.

But OH NO, HERE COMES STUPID RETIRED PEOPLE DRAMA! Turns out the tree was actually…

Fallen Princesses

Starr C. yonder in suburbtopia recently posted this link to a photo exhibition called "Fallen Princesses." The photos depict many of the fairy tale princesses and heroines portrayed in Disney movies... and shows them in the worst possible situations that might occur beyond the credits roll, in the "ever after."

artist Dina Goldstein's Belle from Beauty and the Beast

Starr C., as an empowered and strong mama, takes umbrage with the weak female leads in Disney fairy tales and also wonders, why would Disney also kill off most of the lead females' mothers? In most of Disney's animated films based on Grimms' storylines, biological mothers are absent.

I also noticed this at a young age, and I can only guess why women and families are portrayed the way they are in Disney movies.

But boy, do I have theories. And my guesses are educated. (Did I ever mention I'm a nut for folklore?)

In other cultures, such as northern Indian communities, similar Indo-European …

Glove You Long Time!

A late Christmas present from Mr. G just arrived: Heated typing gloves that plug into a USB port! What an excellent accessory for someone who writes and works an office job.

Mr. G ordered them from an Asian company. The gloves are described in exquisite Engrish on the website,

Cold winter, the Office of the many white-collar workers all day long to reach out in the mouse, keyboard, swimming, so a lot of people's hands from the Health and frostbite. With this USB warming gloves accompanied me, whether it is playing files, programming, QQ chat, play games, are no longer a cold! Warm winter starts, as soon as possible to buy it. How can you like the distinctive miss this good opportunity to fashion itself! ! ! Buy a pair of fast this year, most of Xuan gift to himself and the most beloved person it!

Loves! It!

Resolve to keep house like Grandma but party like a rockstar!

The Huffington Post has this great piece on many things that our grandparents did for economic reasons that just so happened to be eco-conscious. I do all of these things at my house, except sewing. But I'm scheduling some sewing lessons with Mrs. Waxx later this month!

UNLIKE my grandparents (and probably yours, too) I have gone 27 years without making any babies. Most of my friends don't have children and never want to have them. Mr. G and I are thinking that it might be about time to come around to that phase of our life and then maybe adopt more children when our bio-baby gets a little older.

UNTIL THEN, we have been (and are having) a lot of the kind of fun that only 20-30-somethings without kids can have! On our "honeymoon" trip to Mexico, Esperanza's abuelita, a traditional Mexican Catholic grandma, grabbed us and ordered us to wait a while before having kids--she didn't get that choice, and she wanted us to take advantage of it!

Hooray for birth contr…