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About the Author

Hello, I'm Jean Michelle Miernik, graduate school dropout and heretical church lady. My day job involves editing radical newsletters and helping manage social media for a covenantal church where Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Humanists, Muslims, Quakers, Baha'is, Flying Spaghetti Monster worshipers, and others celebrate all the holidays together in one orgiastic fusion potluck of spiritual, philosophical, and personal diversity.

Before sunrise and whenever else I can, I write earthy, ecstatic literary fiction packed with fiery taboos and sexy dudes such as Vikings, feral outlaws, steppe nomads, and sweet, sensitive scholars.

enjoying the local "Nerdic" Fire Festival, 2017

I am a member of Capital City Writers since 2015 and a noveling group called the Pigasus Pen since 2011.

I grew up in the Midwest as a high-achieving and secretly deviant Catholic schoolgirl. I still wear the plaid skirts. My favorite vice is curiosity, and my favorite fruit is the forbidden kind that gives you divine knowledge powers.

Driven by this original sin, I defected from parochial education halfway through my sophomore year and dove into an inner city public school with all the worldly wisdom of Kimmy Schmidt. The natives of that realm were extremely kind and patient with me, and some of them became my best friends for life, including my future husband, a fellow former Catholic who used to serve at the altar of the bishop while tripping on acid.

In college and graduate school, I studied classical mythology, psychology, and child development. Meanwhile, I took every opportunity to "visit Planet Earth" by residing in squalid conditions in several less developed and/or war-destroyed countries and working in U.S. special education and behavior block classrooms.

Thoroughly satisfied with my disillusionment, I dropped out of graduate school to begin a career developing communications for a radically progressive covenantal community, where I have been working since 2006. I fell so deeply in love with reality during this time that I got married and made a baby.

My renewed interests in culture, sociology, myth, and storytelling led me to continue my "travels" through library archives in search of medieval folklore, continental Eurasian history, Victorian fairy tales, and forgotten gems of literature that can't be accessed through the magic of the internet. I've dug through moldy books out of print for a century or more, exhumed from university storage and untouched for decades.

I've read Straparola tales in Italian and folkloric magical realism in Spanish. I've tried to learn German to read the Grimm Brothers' field notes, but I got way sidetracked learning Rammstein songs, which did me no good at all. (I did find out that responding to a German-speaking person using lines from Rammstein songs is the funniest offensive party trick ever.)

Fortunately, Jack Zipes granted my fervent wish to read the Grimms' raw materials when he published his translation of their work in English. I consumed this book with the hunger of a hyena, crunching up its very bones and then licking the bloodstained earth. Thank you, Mr. Zipes.

My darling husband and muse pre-ordered Zipes' translation for me as soon as it became available, and he also searched the whole (online) world for me until he found an antique English translation of Joseph Victor von Scheffel's Ekkehard: A Tale of the Tenth Century. My husband is the very best.

I am an avid devotee of Terri Windling with all her wisdom and folkloric expertise.

I shall live badly if I do not write,
and I shall write badly if I do not live.


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A Bad Romance Starring Till Lindemann, Sophia Thomalla, Gavin Rossdale, Simone Thomalla, Sven Martinek, Andy LaPlegua, and Leila Lowfire

To misquote Gaga, "I don't speak German, but I can look at foreign tabloids and guess what's going on if you like."

I guess it would be more professional and ladylike for me to be above this sordid celebrity gossip, but I'm not. I'm so not.

So let's see if I've got this straight. From what I gather...

Metalgod Till Lindemann, 54, and model Sophia Thomalla, 27 (upper left) recently exited a five-year, on-off, opennish relationship, which began when Sophia's actress mother Simone (upper right, in the center) and Simone's then-lover (between her marriages to nubile young athletes) actor Sven Martinek (lower left, in the center), who is famous for his lead role in German TV show Der Clown (lower right) thought it would be cute to set Sophia up with their pal Till. Apparently, the 22-year-old Sophia was not repulsed at her parental figures setting her up with a drinking buddy significantly older than her mom, which absolutely makes sense when the d…

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Richard

Richard Z. Kruspe
Richard Zven Kruspe is Rammstein's founding father, lead guitarist, and natural frontman. He's gregarious, well-spoken in both German and English, a professional showman, and an enthusiastic promoter for the band. In German, his name is pronounced "REE-kard," and in Germanglish, "Reeshard," or "Reesh" for short. Richard is sexy, and he knows it. To many Rammstein fans, he is the cuuuuuuute one. His Facebook page would have you believe it.

Legend has it that Richard has a lovechild with lead singer Till Lindeman. The myth is based in complicated facts and figures, including one unconventional love triangle. Circa 1990, Richard and Till were in a band together (along with future Rammstein rhythm guitarist Paul Landers) with the cheeky name First Arsch. Till, the drummer, was a single father of a little girl at the time, the issue of a short-lived, youthful shotgun wedding--to Richard's current girlfriend. When "Mrs. Lindem…

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Till

UPDATE: After purging his sillies on the side project LINDEMANN and participating in another Rammstein documentary video, Till has begun work on a seventh Rammstein album, estimated to be released in 2017. 

October 2017 is the release date of a NatGeo photo book of Till's travels in the Yukon with Joey Kelly: Mein Gehasster Freund Yukon

Yukon Ho!

For fresh squeezed gossip juice, here's a bad (as in so good) romance. Till Lindemann
Till Lindemann is the only living human who could kick Chuck Norris's ass, but he doesn't, because they go on emo hunting trips together. The source of this fact, Urban Dictionary, also provides the following essential details: "Till Lindemann is the anthropomorphic personification of pure masculinity who invented the often-lethal dance move: The Till Hammer..." "He challenges the definition of masculine..." "Every German fertility clinic features a cardboard cutout of Till Lindemann choking a shark with one hand, whils…