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#AmTripping on Fever, Dextrowhatever, and Virtual... Trips

I was going to send query letters this week, but fortunately I was stricken by an outrageous case of the influenza. (Yes, I got a flu shot. No, I don't take whatever magic supplements you sell. Get off my lawn.) I say "fortunately" because I have awoken several times, drenched in sweat, confused and frightened and suddenly aware of a continuity error in one of my book chapters that needs to be fixed before I send it out. I've been writing them down so I can check them in my lucid moments, and these realizations are true. Apparently my subconscious mind works better when I'm unconscious and crazeballs. So, silver lining.

On an unrelated note, this is my family, dressed the way they like to appear when they sneak up on me in the dark.


I've been passing most of my time in bed, watching YouTube travelogues and documentaries about archaeological sites. I notice the people who make these things apparently do not watch other people's documentaries or travelogues before they make theirs. How strange. I have become enlightened with some priceless wisdom that, like any high person, I feel compelled to document and post on the internet. So here you go.


Things I Learned on YouTube This Week


1. Your grandmother's top-secret, never-before-revealed recipe is cheating on you in at least four other countries.

2. If the Bedouin guy tells you that you are the first cameraman ever to be allowed onto this archaeological site, he might be assuming you will feel too self-important to Google whether you are being punked and there is footage of the site on YouTube taken as far back as the 1950s. P.S. That Bedouin guy has a phone. He is probably watching you on YouTube right now and laughing at how much excitement you are expressing at this historic moment.

3. In every war/disaster zone deemed "uninhabitable," from Chernobyl to the Kalahari Desert, if you look hard enough, you will find a ferocious old woman and a goat.

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