Skip to main content

A Man of One's Own

That's my fancy man right there!
Today is the 10-year anniversary of my secret elopement to the love of my life! I don't normally do this, but I'm going to post some advice today. I feel like I've earned the right to advise, now that I've completed a manuscript and the first decade of marriage.

Writers, if you're going to have a life partner, make sure that partner is supportive of your work. Your partner doesn't have to be a fellow writer. As my husband says, "I'm not a word worder." They don't even have to understand what you do--they just have to sympathize with why you do it.

My husband doesn't write or read fiction. He reads manuals for bike parts and electric cars and power tools. He reads poetry and collections of Zen koans and biographies of artists. But fiction, not so much.

Yet he supports my writing habit with enthusiasm, listens to me talk about it, and shows me things he reads that I would never find on my own, that connect with what I love in fiction. For example, he just pulled this gem out of a set of academic lectures by M.C. Escher:

"Whoever wants to portray something that does not exist has to obey certain rules. Those rules are more or less the same as for the teller of fairy tales: ...to apply the function of contrasts... to cause a shock.

"The element of mystery to which... to call attention must be surrounded and veiled by perfectly ordinary everyday self-evidences that are recognizable to everyone. That environment, which is true to nature and acceptable to every superficial observer, is indispensable for causing the desired shock.

"That is also why such a game can be played and understood only by those who are prepared to penetrate the surface, those who agree to use their brains, just as in the solving of a riddle. It is thus not a matter for the senses, but rather a cerebral matter. Profundity is not at all necessary, but a kind of humor and self-mockery is a must, at least for the person who makes the representations."

And that, my friends, is also how we approach our life together. Just replace the first sentence with "Whoever wants to keep a marriage fun for many years has to obey certain rules."


Here we are having a spicy taco truck takeout lunch while our daughter is at preschool, in celebration of our legal marriage 10 years ago, which was also celebrated with tacos.

Every successful writer I know has one thing in common, and that is that the person they spend the most time with--whether it's their own self or a bosom bestie or a romantic partner--respects the reason why they write and supports all the ways that writing helps them grow.

As the days lengthen and the winter tilts toward spring, I'm wishing you a life full of love for your writing! And plenty of tacos.

Comments

  1. Many more years to you and your very furry sexy crazy wonderful man!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, and thanks for witnessing our union... twice!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Bad Romance Starring Till Lindemann, Sophia Thomalla, Gavin Rossdale, Simone Thomalla, Sven Martinek, Andy LaPlegua, and Leila Lowfire

To misquote Gaga, "I don't speak German, but I can look at foreign tabloids and guess what's going on if you like."


I guess it would be more professional and ladylike for me to be above this sordid celebrity gossip, but I'm not. I'm so not.


So let's see if I've got this straight. From what I gather...


Metalgod Till Lindemann, 54, and model Sophia Thomalla, 27 (upper left) recently exited a five-year, on-off, opennish relationship, which began when Sophia's actress mother Simone (upper right, in the center) and Simone's then-lover (between her marriages to nubile young athletes) actor Sven Martinek (lower left, in the center), who is famous for his lead role in German TV show Der Clown (lower right) thought it would be cute to set Sophia up with their pal Till. Apparently, the 22-year-old Sophia was not repulsed at her parental figures setting her up with a drinking buddy significantly older than her mom, which absolutely makes sense when the d…

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Till

UPDATE: After purging his sillies on the side project LINDEMANN and participating in another Rammstein documentary video, Till has begun work on a seventh Rammstein album, estimated to be released in 2017. 

October 2017 is the release date of a NatGeo photo book of Till's travels in the Yukon with Joey Kelly: Mein Gehasster Freund Yukon

Yukon Ho!

For fresh squeezed gossip juice, here's a bad (as in so good) romance. Till Lindemann
Till Lindemann is the only living human who could kick Chuck Norris's ass, but he doesn't, because they go on emo hunting trips together. The source of this fact, Urban Dictionary, also provides the following essential details: "Till Lindemann is the anthropomorphic personification of pure masculinity who invented the often-lethal dance move: The Till Hammer..." "He challenges the definition of masculine..." "Every German fertility clinic features a cardboard cutout of Till Lindemann choking a shark with one hand, whils…

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Richard

Richard Z. Kruspe
Richard Zven Kruspe is Rammstein's founding father, lead guitarist, and natural frontman. He's gregarious, well-spoken in both German and English, a professional showman, and an enthusiastic promoter for the band. In German, his name is pronounced "REE-kard," and in Germanglish, "Reeshard," or "Reesh" for short. Richard is sexy, and he knows it. To many Rammstein fans, he is the cuuuuuuute one. His Facebook page would have you believe it.

Legend has it that Richard has a lovechild with lead singer Till Lindeman. The myth is based in complicated facts and figures, including one unconventional love triangle. Circa 1990, Richard and Till were in a band together (along with future Rammstein rhythm guitarist Paul Landers) with the cheeky name First Arsch. Till, the drummer, was a single father of a little girl at the time, the issue of a short-lived, youthful shotgun wedding--to Richard's current girlfriend. When "Mrs. Lindem…