Skip to main content

Middle Path Mother

Friends, meet Devi Maya, mother of the Buddha, who is depicted here giving birth joyfully through her ribcage whilst standing on one foot and holding onto a tree.

I like to let Devi Maya remind me that being centered, in-the-moment, and happy does not require us to find a perfect life "balance," obsess over whether we are "natural," or do anything "properly." Each of our children is as unique and precious as a little Buddha, and we mothers, too, are unique in our gifts and strengths. There is beauty in asymmetry and strangeness just as there is serenity in the simple flow of regular, repeating forms.

It seems that the culture I live in is all about exaggeration and opposition. There is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to do everything, a crunchy hike and a smoothly paved trail, attachment vs. detachment, success against nurture. There are Mommy War skirmishes fought behind the front lines of a War on Women.

But this mother, both toughened up and softened by two and a half years of pregnancy and mothering, believes that most of our culture's mothering dichotomies are nothing more than the false trickery of capitalist sales pitches, that most mothers are more compassionate than combative with each other, and that sometimes there is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to do things--but each family has its own unique best interests and its own best paths to them, usually somewhere in the quiet spaces between the extreme methods packaged and sold as news stories and parenting advice.

So I am launching a series of Middle Path Mother posts to share the wisdom and encouragement of a not-quite-new mom who has borne a child right in the center of America, the center of the income scale, and the center of today's socio-political storms. Each post will raise a topic relevant to the first Trying-To-Conceive moments through pregnancy and childhood, adding a few grains of salt and a spoonful of sugar to satisfy a mother's cravings for both reasonableness and celebration in this dance of life.

Stop by The Magic Nutshell on the first Friday Monday of each month for a bite.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

35 Great Things About Turning 35

The prime of life starts at 35! It's the best-kept secret from younger people, but your 35th birthday is a major cause for celebration. For mine, I have made my own listicle of 35 reasons why experts agree that 35 is the best age to be:
You get to say, "I'm 35." The number 35 carries so much more gravitas than 30, but you're only a few years older. At 34, I've started fudging my age--by adding a year. People automatically take me seriously, and if they don't, at least they tell me I look young for my age. (Eye roll, hair toss, "whatever.")  35-year-olds DGAF. Inner chill reaches new heights at 35. Despite its #2 status on this list, it's the #1 response I hear about what's best about hitting 35. My gorgeous friend Nerlie was beautiful and resilient and wise beyond her years in high school, but now, at age 35, she gets to fully enjoy being herself on her own terms. She writes,  "I've survived so much that I don't waste time o…

A Bad Romance Starring Till Lindemann, Sophia Thomalla, Gavin Rossdale, Simone Thomalla, Sven Martinek, Andy LaPlegua, and Leila Lowfire

November 2018 Update: Sophia is settled in with Gavin a young soccer player (like mother like daughter) now, I guess, and Till is spending time with 36-year-old (hell yeah, thank you, sir) Ukrainian singer Svetlana Loboda. He is either her latest babydaddy or doing her the favor of bearding as such (not that he's great with beards, but we don't mind--we know how much he loves pregnant and lactating ladies) to help her keep some distance from her crazy ex who cuts his wrists over her. The juice continues...


To misquote Gaga, "I don't speak German, but I can look at foreign tabloids and guess what's going on if you like."


I guess it would be more professional and ladylike for me to be above this sordid celebrity gossip, but I'm not. I'm so not.


So let's see if I've got this straight. From what I gather...


Metalgod Till Lindemann, 54, and model Sophia Thomalla, 27 (upper left) recently exited a five-year, on-off, opennish relationship, which bega…

DEUTSCHLAND Video

I've only been waiting 10 years for this. NO BIG DEAL.

As someone who loves history, science, anthropology, art, and Rammstein...

As a descendant of German-Americans who served in both world wars...

As the wife of a Holocaust survivor's son...

This is epically satisfying.

Using an unfortunately hilarious turn of phrase amounting to a gallows pun, German authorities have "condemned" the video before its release (ironically and hypocritically doing all the work of promoting the video and single in the German mass media) because of a teaser depicting executions in a Nazi concentration camp. I find this unsurprising--the German government often censors and speaks out against Rammstein's work (thus increasing their concert ticket and music sales). But all to the good. It is an unfortunate reality that a full third of Americans today are misinformed or in denial about the Holocaust and that anti-Semitism and right-wing hate groups are on the rise in Germany and elsewhe…