Skip to main content

Be your own evil stepmother.

Spring cleaning time! (I know, ugh.) Sadly, I am not yet receiving any large royalty checks for my writing, so I can't hire a maid or cook. I'm also not a Disney princess with the power to sing out the window and call my animal helpers to do my chores for me. Even worse, my "housewife" Esperanza left me for Mexico a couple years ago. (I miss you, Esperanza!)

The only option left to me is to become my own evil stepmother and forbid myself to go to the ball (finish Chapter 5) until I complete my list of chores. This might actually motivate me to get some work done around the house, which sure would make Mr. G happy after he comes home from his two jobs. But it's very hard for me to stay away from my keyboard, because in Chapter 5... A PROPHECY is fulfilled! A CURSE descends upon the castle! And in Chapter 6... BLOOD and GORE! Two people Rosemarie loves will DIE HORRIBLE, VIOLENT DEATHS! Whole ecosystems will be OBLITERATED! A new monarch will SEIZE CONTROL of the land! Monsters will go on RAMPAGES of DESTRUCTION!

...But not until I cook, clean, and water the plants. And maybe bake some dang cookies to warm up my house. (Hello, spring, did you forget to wake up today?) Maybe I will cheat a little. I'm not a very strict evil stepmother.

Eh. Some writers find themselves scrubbing the toilet or sorting socks to put off writing. I'm exactly the opposite. I would stay planted in my chair with my hands stuck to the keyboard all day if I could get away with it. Alas, I need to keep myself and my husband fed, clothed, and organized.

Okay, signing off. I need to do the dishes and scrub the counters in time to meet my prince... and rain hellfire upon his wretched kingdom. Bwahahahaha! Fantasy writing sure does make one's boring day-to-day life seem more romantic and adventurous.

Pictures are of my BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Esperanza, who apparently has her own makeup artist named Ely and photographer named Rache.


  1. Ahh, chores. They are the nemesis of creativity, aren't they? Time after time, I find myself putting off writing to scrub the toilet, vacuum the carpet, do the dishes...the list goes on and on. If it's this hard to squeeze in writing now, I can't imagine what it must be like once motherhood arrives!

  2. Your BFF is beautiful! Yes, I've been DYING to get back to Cinders. I'm stuck int he middle a very intense scene, but real life duties call, and I need peace and quiet from the three year old...


    I love that you have so many good things coming up in the story! Sounds so exciting!

  3. Esperanzita!! Gorgeous. She may be your housewife, but I might have to throw my hat in the ring too. :)
    And I feel you on the chores before writing. My husband is ready to burn all my shit up to get ride of it.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Bad Romance Starring Till Lindemann, Sophia Thomalla, Gavin Rossdale, Simone Thomalla, Sven Martinek, Andy LaPlegua, and Leila Lowfire

To misquote Gaga, "I don't speak German, but I can look at foreign tabloids and guess what's going on if you like."

I guess it would be more professional and ladylike for me to be above this sordid celebrity gossip, but I'm not. I'm so not.

So let's see if I've got this straight. From what I gather...

Metalgod Till Lindemann, 54, and model Sophia Thomalla, 27 (upper left) recently exited a five-year, on-off, opennish relationship, which began when Sophia's actress mother Simone (upper right, in the center) and Simone's then-lover (between her marriages to nubile young athletes) actor Sven Martinek (lower left, in the center), who is famous for his lead role in German TV show Der Clown (lower right) thought it would be cute to set Sophia up with their pal Till. Apparently, the 22-year-old Sophia was not repulsed at her parental figures setting her up with a drinking buddy significantly older than her mom, which absolutely makes sense when the d…

Dystopian Dreams for a Suburban Family

The new doomsday prepping is dystopia survival. So-called "doomsday prep" only works if you have a bug-out plan to somewhere that isn't doomed or if the Walmart reopens after a few weeks. To me, "doomsday" doesn't imply a temporary disaster like a hurricane or an avalanche. It means that the status quo is irrevocably lost. Surviving most big and permanent changes requires building social connections and learning new things, not hiding out in a bunker.

Long-term survival requires a permanent adaptation to a new normal. Because no matter how many SpaghettiOs you hoard, stockpiling alone won't give you enough time to adapt if you haven't started long before the first disaster.

Examples: Here is what it's like to survive a natural disaster, if you are one of the richest and "prep"-piest people on Earth. Below is what it's like to survive a two-week winter power outage in record-shattering low temperatures, if you are a basic suburbani…

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Till

UPDATE: After purging his sillies on the side project LINDEMANN and participating in another Rammstein documentary video, Till has begun work on a seventh Rammstein album, estimated to be released in 2017 2018. 

October 2017 is the release date of a NatGeo photo book of Till's travels in the Yukon with Joey Kelly: Mein Gehasster Freund Yukon

Yukon Ho!

For fresh squeezed gossip juice, here's a bad (as in so good) romance. Till Lindemann
Till Lindemann is the only living human who could kick Chuck Norris's ass, but he doesn't, because they go on emo hunting trips together. The source of this fact, Urban Dictionary, also provides the following essential details: "Till Lindemann is the anthropomorphic personification of pure masculinity who invented the often-lethal dance move: The Till Hammer..." "He challenges the definition of masculine..." "Every German fertility clinic features a cardboard cutout of Till Lindemann choking a shark with one hand, …