Skip to main content

Killing Birds and Golden Apples

I'm speaking figuratively here! I love birds. And golden (delicious) apples. What is up with me lately, metaphorically killing frogs and now birds? I'm not violent toward animals, I swear.

What I'm trying to do is reference the phrase "killing two birds with one stone." Better yet, I like to kill (not literally, of course) as many birds as possible with my limited stones. For example, I am currently attempting to:

a.) write a novel while experiencing some of the things my characters do and enjoy,
b.) eat healthy,
c.) save money, and
d.) keep up my house.

So I had a brilliant idea as I sat at the kitchen table, alongside my trays of vegetable seedlings, and worked on Chapter 4, which touches on how the Queen likes apple blossoms. I thought, I like apple blossoms too! Why not plant some apple trees in my front yard?

I have to believe that a few apple trees won't require a huge amount of maintenance. Up at Mr. G's family property Up North, a whole orchard of apple trees has flourished all on its own, with no care at all, around the cottage. More trees keep popping up where the deer do their business after eating fallen apples.

However, I do plan to keep my own trees pruned so they don't grow too tall for me to reach the fruit.

Yeah, that's garlic growing in my flower beds. What of it?

So, with the planting of my little "apple orchard," I have contributed to my goals by:

a.) surrounding myself with whimsical beauty that inspires me and links me to my characters (as soon as those buds bloom and then the leaves come in and turn gorgeous colors in the fall),
b.) providing my household with fresh fruit (theoretically, in some future year...),
c.) saving on groceries (see above),
d.) and adding to the value of my home (ooh, fruit trees) while disguising my ugly siding so I can put off giving the front of my house a much needed Curb Appeal-type makeover. Screw putting on new siding, if I can just hide behind apple blossoms!

Oh, and it's going to smell SO GOOD wafting into my bathroom and office/nursery windows.

If you want to plant your own fruit trees...

First, find out what types thrive in your climate and the area where you want to plant them. Take into account the soil type and amount of sun. Visit a site like to get an idea of what you want.

Then buy the trees from a trusted source. Make sure you get a one-year warranty, because you won't necessarily know right away if there is something wrong with your saplings.

Dig a hole exactly as deep as the root ball and a bit wider. Mix the soil you fill in around the root ball with compost or cow manure. Mmm! The roots will love it.

Mulch and water the trees well.

Voila! If you have a yard, you can make your own Eden.

And if you don't, you can always grow a container garden of berries, peppers, cucumbers, flowers, herbs, or whatever inspires you.

My next project is to buy oodles of strawberry plants and let them run wild as ground cover! Ooh, I'm so excited! I love planting perennial stuff that comes back year after year. I hope these steadfast, hardworking plants can inspire me to be similarly productive.


  1. I'd like to state for the record that I am super impressed with you. Apple trees sound fabulous. I hope they grow strong and healthy. :)


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Bad Romance Starring Till Lindemann, Sophia Thomalla, Gavin Rossdale, Simone Thomalla, Sven Martinek, Andy LaPlegua, and Leila Lowfire

To misquote Gaga, "I don't speak German, but I can look at foreign tabloids and guess what's going on if you like."

I guess it would be more professional and ladylike for me to be above this sordid celebrity gossip, but I'm not. I'm so not.

So let's see if I've got this straight. From what I gather...

Metalgod Till Lindemann, 54, and model Sophia Thomalla, 27 (upper left) recently exited a five-year, on-off, opennish relationship, which began when Sophia's actress mother Simone (upper right, in the center) and Simone's then-lover (between her marriages to nubile young athletes) actor Sven Martinek (lower left, in the center), who is famous for his lead role in German TV show Der Clown (lower right) thought it would be cute to set Sophia up with their pal Till. Apparently, the 22-year-old Sophia was not repulsed at her parental figures setting her up with a drinking buddy significantly older than her mom, which absolutely makes sense when the d…

35 Great Things About Turning 35

The prime of life starts at 35! It's the best-kept secret from younger people, but your 35th birthday is a major cause for celebration. For mine, I have made my own listicle of 35 reasons why experts agree that 35 is the best age to be:
You get to say, "I'm 35." The number 35 carries so much more gravitas than 30, but you're only a few years older. At 34, I've started fudging my age--by adding a year. People automatically take me seriously, and if they don't, at least they tell me I look young for my age. (Eye roll, hair toss, "whatever.")  35-year-olds DGAF. Inner chill reaches new heights at 35. Despite its #2 status on this list, it's the #1 response I hear about what's best about hitting 35. My gorgeous friend Nerlie was beautiful and resilient and wise beyond her years in high school, but now, at age 35, she gets to fully enjoy being herself on her own terms. She writes,  "I've survived so much that I don't waste time o…

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Till

UPDATE: After purging his sillies on the side project LINDEMANN and participating in another Rammstein documentary video, Till has begun work on a seventh Rammstein album, estimated to be released in 2017 2018. 

October 2017 is the release date of a NatGeo photo book of Till's travels in the Yukon with Joey Kelly: Mein Gehasster Freund Yukon

Yukon Ho!

For fresh squeezed gossip juice, here's a bad (as in so good) romance. Till Lindemann
Till Lindemann is the only living human who could kick Chuck Norris's ass, but he doesn't, because they go on emo hunting trips together. The source of this fact, Urban Dictionary, also provides the following essential details: "Till Lindemann is the anthropomorphic personification of pure masculinity who invented the often-lethal dance move: The Till Hammer..." "He challenges the definition of masculine..." "Every German fertility clinic features a cardboard cutout of Till Lindemann choking a shark with one hand, …