Skip to main content

In Like a Lion

Enter the lion. While the weather here in Michigan has been sunny and mild at this beginning of March, my start to the month has had some bite.


It started with a wonderful family vacation. My parents treated me, Mr. G, and my brother to a trip to the Florida Keys. We had a great time, though we showed up at the tail end of the coldest winter in Florida's history. Note the sweater I'm wearing under that tiki umbrella.


We visited Mr. G's fabulous parents. Madame Antonia packs the most ridiculously good picnic lunches--homemade breads and hummus, sandwiches with aged gouda, fresh-picked fruits, brownies, and even cute graham crackers with our initials on them. Sadly, a downpour cut short our seaside lunch.


We stayed a couple nights at a marina and learned that the winter had been so cold, the fishing waters had been filled with dead fish and manatee that couldn't survive the freezing temperatures.


In Key West, all of the freaks wearing boa constrictors stayed inside, out of the cold. We took my family to a drag show, and one of the poor queens was wearing earmuffs and a fur coat to stay warm.


The only native creatures who didn't seem to be suffering at all were the allegedly "endangered" (but really, you couldn't walk anywhere without tripping over one) bite-sized Key deer. They had grown lovely, fluffy winter coats and were obviously well-fed by their human neighbors, evinced by their habit of running up and sniffing your hand like a dog begging for treats.


Alas, all the Florida residents were sick, and we took home some of their horrible disease as a souvenir. I was up all night with some Norovirus-like horror and still can't eat much solid food. Now Mr. G has lost his lunch at work, and we are faced with asking for sick days on the tail end of our vacation.

I was so ready to hit the ground running when we returned on Sunday night. I had plans to start my vegetable garden, begin a workout regimen, catch up on work, do some spring cleaning, finish a chapter of my WIP, and bake a birthday cake for Chef. (Happy 26th! Hope I didn't infect you.) No luck. I spent the whole first night home in the bathroom and the next day sipping Pedialite and drifting in and out of consciousness on the sofa. In the past two days, I have eaten nothing but two slices of toast, a banana, and a few bites of rice.

And now it's just starting on my poor husband. :(

I can only hope that this March follows the old adage and goes out like a lamb.

Comments

  1. Boo that sucks! I used to live in Miami and would frequent the Keys alot. Too bad you really didn't get to enjoy it the way you should!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh no! I'm sorry you guys got sick. Aren't vacations supposed to have the opposite effect? I hope you two get better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  3. We're really good at picking up exotic gastrointestinal diseases on our travels. Well, at least we purge all the calories we eat at nice restaurants.

    Eh. This "cleanse" method is not recommended.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Till

UPDATE: After purging his sillies on the side project LINDEMANN and participating in another Rammstein documentary video, Till has begun work on a seventh Rammstein album, estimated to be released in 2017. Till Lindemann
Till Lindemann is the only living human who could kick Chuck Norris's ass, but he doesn't, because they go on emo hunting trips together. The source of this fact, Urban Dictionary, also provides the following essential details: "Till Lindemann is the anthropomorphic personification of pure masculinity who invented the often-lethal dance move: The Till Hammer..." "He challenges the definition of masculine..." "Every German fertility clinic features a cardboard cutout of Till Lindemann choking a shark with one hand, whilst cradling a kitten in his other, looking directly at the stirrups in the insemination room. To this day they have a 100% success rate."

To the chagrin of most of the band, including Till himself, Rammstein is, …

Ich Liebe Rammstein: Richard

Richard Z. Kruspe
Richard Zven Kruspe is Rammstein's founding father, lead guitarist, and natural frontman. He's gregarious, well-spoken in both German and English, a professional showman, and an enthusiastic promoter for the band. In German, his name is pronounced "REE-kard," and in Germanglish, "Reeshard," or "Reesh" for short. Richard is sexy, and he knows it. To many Rammstein fans, he is the cuuuuuuute one. His Facebook page would have you believe it.

Legend has it that Richard has a lovechild with lead singer Till Lindeman. The myth is based in complicated facts and figures, including one unconventional love triangle. Circa 1990, Richard and Till were in a band together (along with future Rammstein rhythm guitarist Paul Landers) with the cheeky name First Arsch. Till, the drummer, was a single father of a little girl at the time, the issue of a short-lived, youthful shotgun wedding--to Richard's current girlfriend. When "Mrs. Lindem…

Safe Products for the Uncrunchy Mama

When I got pregnant, I became ultra-paranoid about toxins. (Haven't you heard? Pregnancy is the best time ever to become a paranoid schizophrenic!) At first I was drawn to everything "crunchy," from home organic gardening to no-poo hair care. I actually loved gardening and no-'poo, but they are not as simple or easy as you might be led to believe. Then I realized that all that crunches is not wholesome (there is just as much consumer-swindling, hazardous and unscientific BS in the "crunchy" sphere as in mainstream marketing toward women) and besides, I was too tired to make all my own soaps and cosmetics. And I didn't want to smell like patchouli and vinegar every day, much as I do love those two things. And I like my hair and skin and nails smooth, totally unlike my nut butter.

Fortunately, I found three great brands that offered everything I wanted: convenience, quality, reasonable price, and safety for me and my unborn child. Their products are luxu…